Things Cis People Don't Understand

As a trans person, you may have had some less than ideal encounters with cisgendered people.

Some may have been awkward moments, while others may have crossed several lines. This article looks at certain things that cis people just don’t seem to understand when engaging with the LGBTQ+ community. 


The first thing that cis people don’t seem to understand is that they can ask questions. This is not entirely their fault, as there has been a rise in a line of discourse that shames cis people for prodding.

However, it is not asking questions that is the issue. It is the kind of invasive, personal, and completely inappropriate questions that many trans people have had to deal with in the last few decades.

Today, many cis people seem to walk on eggshells around trans people, which is entirely unnecessary.

As long as you stay away from offensive questions asking intimate details, and you are good. It is natural to be curious about certain things.

However, if a trans person seems uncomfortable with a question that you pose, do not prod further.     


The second thing that cis people do not seem to understand is that for a transgender person, their identity is a huge part of their life.

As normalization culture has picked up around the world, it has become normal to pretend like every person is the same.

However, that is not true. Each individual and community is unique and the experiences that trans people go through tend to shape their lives.

Particularly when transitioning, their gender identity becomes a huge part of who they are. In essence, their trans identity is not an elephant in the room.

So being trans is a big part of our lives, especially when we're in the process of transitioning. However, it is not their entire identity. There is more to their lives than their gender. 


The next concept that many cis people don’t seem to understand is gender dysphoria. It extends beyond normal insecurity. For many trans women, this makes surgeries and other feminization procedures absolutely necessary.

When a trans woman states that she does not like a part of her body, it has more to do with dysphoria than general insecurity.

This is the reason medical interventions are often sought in the community. Without them, there is always a mismatch between their gender identity and physical attributes.

This can lead to anxiety, stress, depression, and so much more.


Finally, do not ever out a trans person. There is a lot of confusion surrounding identity in the trans community, especially during the initial strategies.

There is a lot of stress and anxiety involved. While some trans people may be comfortable with their identity in public, others may require more time to understand themselves.

A lot of times, trans people are comfortable disclosing their identities to specific people. If a trans person confides in you, it is very important that you do not out them. They will talk about it to others when they are ready. It is not your place! 


This article does not, in any way, intend to blame the cis community. There are many allies and people with good intentions.

However, people are bound to err, so this article was written to delve into what is acceptable and unacceptable when engaging with trans people.

As long as your intention is not to offend or hurt, the trans community will be very understanding of your mistakes.

Just be open and seek knowledge wherever you can, to avoid uncomfortable situations. We hope you learned something new!  


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