Self-Hatred as a Transgender Woman - Coping with Gender Dysphoria

Mathilda Hogberg is a popular transgender YouTuber who creates content about her transition and life experiences as a trans woman. In this article, Mathilda shares vulnerable details about her struggles with gender dysphoria and self-hatred as a transgender woman, along with advice for how she copes as an MTF (male-to-female) transgender person.


What is Gender Dysphoria?

Gender dysphoria is the feeling of distress a person feels due to the mismatch of their gender and their assigned sex at birth. People can experience gender dysphoria related to various aspects of their body, appearance, or perceived gender roles in society.

The level of distress experienced can vary greatly between individuals. While some transgender people experience intense dysphoria, others may only deal with milder forms. Dysphoria can also fluctuate over time, with periods of stronger and weaker intensity.


Personal Experiences with Gender Dysphoria

Mathilda explains that she dealt with significant gender dysphoria before her transition, which involved medical treatments like hormone therapy and multiple surgeries. Though her dysphoria has lessened dramatically, she still occasionally struggles with it.

She shares that she currently feels dysphoria about features like her hands, feet, adam's apple, nose, and chin. Seeing or focusing on these parts of her body can suddenly trigger feelings of disconnect, anxiety, and disgust.

She describes it as an overwhelming urge to "fix" or remove these masculine aspects, even though she rationally knows many cisgender women share these traits.


Tips for Coping with Dysphoria

Mathilda emphasizes the importance of finding a balance between addressing the root causes of dysphoria through transition, while also recognizing when obsessively fixing every masculine feature is unrealistic or unhealthy.

She advises appreciating how far you've come in transition, focusing on the positives in life, and seeking small changes that can help relieve dysphoria without consuming your whole life.

This may involve procedures like facial surgery or fillers for some while learning self-acceptance works better for others.

Above all, Mathilda stresses the need to keep moving forward and finding happiness, rather than getting stuck ruminating on unchangeable parts of the past or wishing you'd been born cisgender. Though dysphoria may always exist on some level, it need not prevent transgender individuals from living fulfilling lives.


Key Takeaways

  • Gender dysphoria involves distress over sex characteristics not aligning with gender identity. It varies greatly in intensity between individuals.
  • Even after the transition, some trans people may continue experiencing dysphoria to varying degrees.
  • Managing ongoing dysphoria involves balancing medical/surgical options with self-acceptance.
  • Focusing on positivity, appreciating progress, and living your best life can help cope.