Pre-Op Transgender Intimacy: Tips and Advice

This article shares general personal information only and is not medical advice. If you have questions about surgery or your health, talk with a qualified healthcare professional.

Transgender people and their bodies have a complex relationship. While many describe a close awareness of their body, their physical attributes are also a source of unreasonable shame for many.

 

This shame is typically intense and may manifest as physical and mental pain and discomfort.

In particular, this is extremely common amongst trans people before they undergo procedures for transitioning. Intimacy tends to worsen these feelings, as people become extremely conscious about their naked body.   

 

For trans people, opening up and letting themselves go can also be challenging. Vulnerability does not come easily when you are conscious or ashamed of a part of you.

There is substantial friction and conflict that you must go through before you can start acting on this problem through transitioning. 

 

However, what about intimacy before undergoing your desired surgeries? While many people might want to wait until surgery before they engage in any form of sexual activity, it is not necessary at all, as long as you find the right person.

But before that, it is important to accept yourself and love yourself even pre-op.    

 

To do so, it is important to get in touch with yourself- what are you ashamed of? For most people, it is a very specific aspect.

Some may be ashamed of what’s down there, while for others, their secondary sexual attributes are a cause for concern.  

 

Usually, this shame intensifies and accumulates with time when it is left unaddressed.

It can build up into knots within your body. All of the tension and stress associated with that shame can feel heavy over time. These regions carry all your pain and are neglected extensively.

This is a common experience among many trans women. Their trans experiences- specifically negative ones- bottle up in different regions, building up the shame and guilt.

 

Therefore, it is particularly important to identify your area of guilt or shame so you can alleviate it in any way you can.

One way to do that is through reassurance and reaffirmation from your partner, and through talking openly together about comfort and boundaries, if you are in that place. If not, self-love never goes out of trend.

 

There may be parts of your body that you do not like or are ashamed of. Spend some time with those areas.

Explore them, touch them, learn about them. That can be one way to learn to accept them and love them. Once you start to feel more at ease with them, intimacy can feel easier.   

 

Even if you have plans to undergo bottom surgery, you can still accept your genitalia for what it is right now.

You can accept it and give it space, fully aware that it is not a right fit for you and that its existence is temporary. You can accept your present self and still look forward to future changes. That's a great middle path to take.

 

We hope this article has helped you find pleasure in intimacy as a trans woman. Good luck!! 

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