How to Stop Thinking About Your "Gender"

Gender identity is a significant part of who we are and for the majority of human beings, its notions are a given. Thus, it is not something that people think about o a daily basis. However, the same cannot be said about the trans community.

Due to the ambiguity that shrouds their gender identity from early years, and the associated dysphoria, it is natural for trans people to be consumed by their gender identity.

Yet, gender is a complex topic and inadvertently leads to negative emotions within trans people due to a variety of factors such as ambiguity, confusion, and discrimination.

As a trans person, thinking about your gender and doubting it on a daily basis can be debilitating and extremely taxing.


Needless to say, it is important to transcend beyond such an existence. It is crucial to acknowledge and accept that not everything is rooted in gender.

Albeit an important construct in a social context, many aspects of our lives exist independent of our gender. Gendered experiences tend to be limited when we are alone or even through the most part of our days.

However, it cannot be denied that there are masculine and feminine attributes within each of us that exist even when we are alone.

For trans people, this can be particularly prominent when still undergoing transitioning. With time, as you begin to feel more comfortable with yourself and your body, you find yourself thinking less about your gender. Thus, in order to stop thinking about your gender, the first step is to work towards self-acceptance.

This can be achieved by getting all negative feelings out of your way the moment you wake up. This way, you can minimize your ruminations for the rest of your day.

The moment you shed the identity that you do not associate with any longer, it becomes easier for you to acknowledge, accept, and enjoy who you truly are.     


If you do not consciously undertake this step, you might constantly find yourself in conflict at all times.

Therefore, it is best to shed your masculine attributes and mindset early on in the day so you can go on with your life without significant conflicts and confusion.

Being present and in the moment can also help you mitigate any concerns pertaining to your gender. This way, you can just be whoever you want to be in the moment without overwhelming yourself with complex questions.

As you allow yourself to be more fluid with your identity, you will find yourself encountering your femininity at unexpected moments. Eventually, you can learn to express these parts of your identity with ease. 


Trans women sometimes also experience shame and guilt when trying to express their femininity. To resolve this, the only thing you could do is to give yourself permission to express yourself and experience joy.

Allow yourself to feel good and celebrate little things to develop a habit of expressing your authentic self.

This is easier said than done, since there may be some ingrained transphobia or judginess within you that you may have to address first. It is important to invalidate any shame or anxiety you may feel to truly express who you are.

In addition, there is a need to discount others’ opinions to prioritize your own happiness. If this feels uncomfortable, try to express your femininity when you are completely alone.

Acknowledging your happiness when you are alone will help you prepare yourself to do the same in public. Gradually, this will become the norm for you.    


The more you work towards self-acceptance, the more quickly you can transition.

To do so, it is very important to move beyond the guilt, shame, fear, and anxiety to accept your authentic self, so your gender is no longer a source of anxiety for you.    

We hope this article has helped you understand the importance of dealing with your gender identity in a tactful manner. Good luck!!

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