3 Ways You Sabotage Your MTF Transition And How It Means You're Ready

Transitioning from one gender to another can be an extremely emotional process full of ups and downs. Throughout the journey, it's very common for transgender individuals to unintentionally sabotage their own progress in certain ways. 

By recognizing where you may be hindering yourself, you can get back on track and continue moving forward. 

Here are three of the most common ways transgender people tend to sabotage their transitions, and how to overcome these hurdles:


1. Unrealistic Expectations

Many who are transitioning have unrealistic expectations about what their end goals should look like:

  • Comparing yourself to celebrities, 
  • believing that you'll never pass convincingly as your true gender, 
  • or having a pie-in-the-sky vision of perfection can lead to severe disappointment and depression.

When you set the bar too high, you may constantly feel stuck and like you're not making any progress.

Instead of fixating on an unrealistic ideal, try to focus on setting more reasonable expectations and goals for your transition. Remember that passing is not everything, and you don't need to look like a supermodel to be valid in your gender identity. 

The most important thing is allowing yourself to be the most authentic version of yourself possible through this process. While surgery and hormones can assist with that, no one is able to achieve absolute perfection.

Maintaining a fundamentally positive outlook while keeping your expectations grounded and flexible is crucial. You may not know exactly how you'll look or where you'll end up, but trust that with consistent effort, you can get to a place where you feel comfortable and fulfilled in your gender expression.


2. Delaying Important Steps

When certain aspects of transitioning feel too overwhelming or scary, it's very tempting to keep delaying them to some ambiguous future time. 

Many transgender people fall into the trap of repeatedly saying "I'll start hormone therapy later," but later never seems to come. Or they consider surgeries, legal name changes, or other steps, but continuously push them down the road.

While wanting to take things slowly is understandable, allowing fear to stop you from ever moving forward can seriously sabotage your transition. On the other hand, trying to rush into every step at once can also be counterproductive if it burns you out. 

Try to thoughtfully prioritize the actions you want to take and map out a realistic timeline. If you notice yourself avoiding certain necessary steps, push yourself to commit to steady (but not rushed) progress.


3. Not Enough Self-Care

Transitioning genders can be an absolutely draining process, both physically and emotionally. It's vital to take adequate time for activities and practices that make you feel relaxed, loved, cared for, and recharged. 

Simple self-care strategies like taking baths, journaling, watching comfort movies, meditation, or anything else that brings you joy and comfort can go a long way.

Establishing a regular routine for taking care of your mental health can help you better handle the emotional troughs and peaks throughout your journey. 

Treat your transition like training for an ultra marathon - you need proper rest, recovery, and hydration to make it through. The investment you put into your basic well-being will pay off hugely in terms of staying motivated.

It's incredibly common to unintentionally sabotage your own transition by coping with unrealistic expectations, constantly delaying important steps, or neglecting self-care. Simply recognizing these tendencies within yourself is the first and most important step. 

Now you can deliberately move forward with more self-compassion while remaining determined and taking things one step at a time. Your authentic self is absolutely ready - even if the process feels daunting. You've got this!

Additional Tips to Help Yourself Stop Sabotaging Your Transition

Here is a list of additional tips on how to not sabotage your transition:

  • Find a supportive community of other transgender people. Having people who understand and relate to your experiences can be invaluable during your transition. There are many online and in-person support groups available.
  • Seek professional help from a therapist or counselor who specializes in transgender issues. A therapist can help you navigate the emotional challenges of transitioning and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
  • Educate yourself about the transition process and what to expect. The more you know, the more confident and prepared you will feel. There are many resources available online and in libraries.
  • Be patient with yourself and allow yourself time to heal and grow. Transitioning is a journey, not a destination. There will be ups and downs along the way.
  • Celebrate your successes along the way, no matter how small they may seem. This will help you stay motivated and focused on your goals.
  • Remember that you are not alone and that there are people who care about you and want to support you. Reach out to your loved ones for help and support when you need it.

In conclusion, it is important to be aware of the three most common ways transgender people sabotage their transitions: unrealistic expectations, delaying important steps, and not taking enough self-care. 

By recognizing these tendencies within yourself, you can deliberately move forward with more self-compassion while remaining determined and taking things one step at a time.