How to Have a Successful Transition
If you are a trans person undergoing transitioning, you may be wondering what defines its success. It is important to determine what a successful transition entails for you.
Similar to any other project that you begin, when you fix a set of goals, it becomes easier to align your actions and behavior to attain the desired outcome.
It is easier to measure progress when you have a final destination in mind. Think of it like a work-based project.
In your current professional project, you may have specific goals and a certain vision for what you want to achieve.
As you move forward, you may find it easier to measure your performance and your progress. It is also simpler to determine a path to reach your outcome. This holds true for transitioning as well.
However, it is important to delineate expectations and goals when transitioning. Initially, many people tend to have unrealistic expectations which fade with time, as they become aware of the complexities and intricacies underlying the process.
Goals, on the other hand, must be realistic. You must be able to determine what can be achieved in the near future and what requires more work.
This will not only help you plan better, but also ensure that you are not disappointed during the journey.
Therefore, it is also crucial to redefine what success means to you at different stages of transitioning.
If you are starting your journey, decide a timeline to monitor your goals- maybe one year.
Determine where you want to be after that time period- professionally, personally, and as a transitioned person. Maybe you want a promotion or maybe you want to be done with your bottom surgery as well as voice transitioning.
Work on these items for the next one year and then revisit your goals. Remember that aiming high is not necessarily a bad thing.
The fact is that transitioning does not take as long as you might think it does. So, it is a good idea to go wild with your goals.
However, remember that you do not have a strict timeline. Learn to be flexible with your goals to avoid disappointment.
However, do not aim for something that is definitely unattainable. For instance, voice transitioning is challenging but completely achievable so that can be a part of your one-year goals.
On the other hand, you cannot alter how your collarbones look. Therefore, adding that to your list is the easiest way to set yourself up for failure.
If there are things that you want to change that cannot be altered, you can work on acceptance. Alter the relationship that you have with your hips.
The biggest thing that you may need to work on at all points of your journey is your relationship with yourself.
You can alter your perceptions of beauty and definitions of what a woman must look like.
These changes go a long way in mitigating gender dysphoria. If you are taller than the average woman, remember that there is nothing you can do about your height.
However, you can change your perception of height and beauty by looking at conventionally good-looking women who are also tall. Did you know Taylor Swift is about 5’10”? And she is gorgeous; so are you.
Through all this, the most important thing to remember is that femininity is a social construct. There are no definitive attributes that define what a woman must look like.
Every cis woman is unique with a combination of physical attributes that cannot be seen in anyone else. Once you make peace with this idea, it becomes easier to accept yourself.
For a successful transition, you must first determine what you want to change. Then, research to verify if those attributes can actually be altered.
If they can, devise a timeline to work on each of them. This will allow you to consistently inch towards the final outcome you have envisioned for yourself.
Remember that professional and personal goals must align with your transition goals. You cannot undergo facial feminization surgery in six months if you do not save enough money.
Therefore, be realistic about what you can achieve considering the resources you have.
If you are having trouble visualizing who you want to be, try writing a letter to your future self. This may lead to several epiphanies about who you want to be. Then, starting working towards that today.
We hope this helped. Good luck!!
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