3 Ways You Sabotage Your MTF/FTM Transition

Human beings often unwittingly sabotage their progress in certain important spheres of their lives. The term self-sabotage has become increasingly common today, thanks to how often most of us engage in it.

For trans women, sabotaging their transition is often a common experience. It is also normal for trans women to feel like they are not doing something right or are not putting in adequate efforts towards a particular aspect of transitioning.

This form of sabotage often slows down your transitioning process and can be very frustrating.

Therefore, this article discusses three areas that trans women often sabotage during transitioning, so you can work towards avoiding them or resolving them as soon as possible.

This is not an exhaustive list and instead, only includes some of the main ones- expectations, postponement, and inadequate self-care.   


1.) Firstly, many trans women sabotage their transition with expectations. Expectations, as a topic, are quite complex. Expectations tend to impact you and your perceptions of your transition progress.

It could either help you push forward or might hold you back. Expectations are potent emotions, since they can cause significant disappointment. When your progress does not align with your expectations, you might find yourself blaming your actions or lack of them thereof.

When this mismatch persists, it could also lead to feelings of depression. Therefore, expectations are undoubtedly the easiest ways in which you can sabotage your transition.

Oftentimes, older trans women claim that they cannot undergo transition because their expectations are down on the ground. You may also have found yourself believing that you might not look good following transition, which may have caused you to defer the inevitable.

If you are a trans person, you would feel so much better after transitioning. Denying this and trying to push it to the back of your mind can be exhausting. You don’t even know what the future holds for you as a transitioned trans woman.

If you do not like what you look like, you can always undergo feminization surgery. However, do not let poor expectations stop you from living the life that you have always desired.

On the other hand, extremely high expectations can also be problematic. If you believe that you would transition into the most beautiful woman ever and bag a host of modeling gigs, the result may underwhelm or even depress you.

The reality may align with these high expectations, yet again leading to disappointment. It may help to remember that transitioning is a gradual process. Sometimes, you may feel stuck where you are, but eventually, you will get closer to your desired outcomes.

Constantly framing your expectations regarding your appearance can be exhausting. Work on transitioning and let the results unfold on their own. When you expect everything to be perfect, nothing will seem right.

Some trans women try to pursue perfection through constant surgeries, which can be exhausting as well. So, how do you tune your expectations in a way that works for you?

Simply put, expect positive results that are attainable. That way, you will not dissuade yourself from your goals and your results will not send you down a road of despair.


2.) Next, trans women often tend to defer transitioning in terms of HRT, surgeries, and so on. Once you go down this road, it is like a labyrinth without an exit.

What that essentially does is extend your to-do-list every time you realize that transitioning involves a lot of facets and aspects. The more you delay, the longer this list will get.

Needless to say, this can get overwhelming, and lead you to postpone transitioning even further.

The best way to go about this is to balance all your tasks in a way that prioritizes menial ones to get them out of your way. Be reasonable with your pace so you don’t feel burnt out.

In addition, plan your transitioning in such a way that you do not have to ditch your daily work.

You must attain a balance between progressing on your transitioning journey and fulfilling what is expected from you in other facets of life.


3.) Finally, as a transitioning trans woman, self-care is crucial. Transitioning can be emotionally exhausting. Do whatever you must do to take care of yourself.

You might feel a host of emotions throughout this process, which are augmented through hormones.

Therefore, taking care of yourself is very important. Take a long bath, start journaling, watch a good movie, read, and do anything else that gives you the feeling of comfort.

In fact, add self-care to your daily or weekly routine. 


Transitioning is an arduous, mentally and physically taxing process. The goal must be to do it efficiently and quickly, so you can come out on the other side stronger and more comfortable with yourself.

Take the necessary steps to curb self-sabotaging behaviors today. Good luck!!

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