How to Confidently Come out as Transgender
For every trans person, there are certain key moments in life that are considered highly important- discovering their gender identity, transitioning, and finally, coming out.
Coming out is a crucial part of social transitioning and is considered a highly stressful period.
The timing of coming out is as important as the people whom you choose to come out to. This article will offer a few tips to make the process of coming out slightly easier.
Pick your audience
As stated above, coming out can be stressful. You may be worried about how your loved ones may react or whether they would be accepting of your gender identity.
This is probably very important because, as a trans person, you might have to eventually come out to everyone you meet, especially if you are not "passable" yet during transitioning.
While it is easy to state that other people’s opinions are not important, it is actually quite challenging to follow through with that idea.
However, the first few reactions can set the tone of your coming out journey. As a result, we highly recommend coming out to people who are closest to you.
In particular, it is best to come out to people who you know would be accepting of you and are in a position to offer good advice.
If you are uncomfortable about coming out to people you know, you could always meet up with people in the local LGBTQ groups and come out to them.
Especially if you are transitioning when still in school, it is a good idea to start by coming out to people who are closest to you and then keep expanding your circle until everyone is aware.
The reason is that, within a school environment, people would notice if you start transitioning. If you have friends who are already in the LGBTQ community, it is a good idea to come out to them first.
They would be more understanding of your situation and may even guide you towards helpful resources.
Coming out to Parents
At some point in your life, you would have to come out to your parents. This is one of the more challenging parts of coming out.
This is especially true if you still stay with them and want to start transitioning immediately.
As a kid, you would also require them to sign your consent forms when starting gender-based therapies.
How and when you choose to come out to them is entirely up to you. You could shoot them an email, do it face to face, or even throw a surprise party. Do whatever you are most comfortable with.
Regardless, if you are still younger than 18 years old and are hoping to transition soon, you would need to have an in-person conversation with your parents at some point.
Before you do so, it is crucial to understand how they feel about gender identity. If you think they are extremely transphobic and coming out could be a threat to your safety or security, we highly recommend deferring it till you can move out of their house.
If you think they are on the fence and they might not be a threat to your safety, you can consider coming out.
The reason is that you would have to come out to them at some point and they will have to start accepting it eventually. Better now than later!
When you are coming out to your parents, another point to remember is that even if they seem extremely liberal and progressive, their immediate reaction to your news may not come off that way.
They may initially be apprehensive about this whole topic and may not like the idea of their child transitioning. However, they will eventually come around.
If you are still a child and living with them, and if you are certain that your safety will not be compromised, it may be a good idea to come out to them.
When you still live with them, it is easier to fix your relationship. If you transition when you are an adult, you might not have enough reasons to fix things and as a result, your relationship might be permanently scarred.
It also gives your parents enough time to work on acceptance if you come out sooner. You might have to engage in multiple conversations with them about transitioning, so be prepared.
It is important to remember that you did nothing wrong. You have nothing to apologize for.
Here is a sad fact- coming out and talking about transitioning to your parents are two different things.
This becomes particularly stressful if you are still a teenager, since they have to be completely onboard for you to undergo the surgical procedures and hormonal therapies.
If your parents were accepting of you when you came out, this may still come as a shock to them. Transitioning is a huge decision.
As a result, make sure that you are completely aware of the various facets that it includes- surgeries, therapies, procedures, and so on. This way, it becomes easier to convince them and you have answers ready for every question that they pose.
Moreover, when it is apparent that you know everything there is to know about transitioning, your parents would understand how much you want it. Regardless, it is highly likely that your parents will not be delighted with the idea of you going on hormones.
There may be many long conversations and fights before you finally go through with transitioning.
Remember this- if they do not permit you to go through with transitioning at that point, it’s not the end. You will have to wait a few years to move out and after that, you are free to do whatever you want.
If you are a transgender person reading this, remember that people who cannot accept your gender identity do not deserve a place in your life. You should never feel bad about who you are.
We hope that this article has helped you decide how you want to come out. Good luck!!
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